This is a story from our guest blogger, Yvette R. Toko
Welcome to the month of August. Conflict is never
easy to resolve because each party feels they are right in their perspective.
Sometimes, these differences can lead to arguing, disrespectful behaviors, and
withdrawing. All of these create distance in marriage. Focus on the Family
discusses 8 tips from Ron Blue and Jeremy L. White, who have written about t
this topic in Faith Based Finances that help manage conflict in marriage.
How many times have you heard or said to your spouse
they 'always' do something or 'never' do something? Blue and White suggest that couples
"stick to the problem at hand and not put your spouse on the defensive."
Also, "get on the same side of the fence" by trying to find a
solution that is based on "our way" instead of “my wa”. Consider what
attitudes or beliefs are motivating your behavior by "trying to identify
the core issues." Next, don't
assume anything about your spouse by trying to interpret their actions,
"discuss beliefs and expectations openly."
So far so good, right? This is definitely easier
said than done, but possible. Let's
continue. The fifth tip is not to stay
angry overnight and agree to table the matter until the next day. Fair fighting
is not easy to practice, but hitting below the belt by attacking your spouse’s
character is a no-no, according to Blue and White. Instead talking about circumstances and
behavior wins out over character assassination.
Being right can be great for the ego but does not go over well in
resolving conflict with our spouse. The "relationship with your spouse is
for more important than being right" notes Blue and White. And lastly, if
you think it couldn't get any better, forgiveness is the eighth tip, "love
keeps no record of wrongs." I will
put my score keeper away if you do. I hope you have enjoyed these tips. Check
in with us at Weddings Trends and let us know how you resolve conflict in your
marriage.
Read the full article at http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/money-and-finances/communicating-about-money/conflict-resolution
About Yvette Toko
Yvette R. Toko is an author, a wife, mother, and teacher. Yvette is the founder of Healing Words with Yvette. Yvette believes in the power of words to heal. She uses words in all forms to encourage, uplift and inspire herself and others. Her most important roles are being a wife, mother, teacher and writer.
You can connect with Toko through her literary works. She is the author of WeddingQuotes of Inspiration, a wedding book filled with quotes to inspire married couples.
