Wedding is a celebration, Marriage is a commitment, Family is companionship
Behind every successful man, there is a beautiful woman, but behind every happy husband, there is a caring wife.
I believe, arranged marriages are done in heaven, love marriages are done on earth, but to live a happy married life of heaven on earth is in our hands, not God’s.
Dancy and I have been sailing for 9.497 days, 1,352 weeks, 312 months, and 26 years of a happy married life from May 29, 1994.
A wedding is a choice, marriage is a commitment, and the family is companionship. The culture of I, Me, Mine when you are a spinster, bachelor, or single, should flip once you get married. Accept it before thinking of getting married, that on the day of the wedding, everything from I, Me, Mine will be We, Us, Ours. The day you are blessed with an angel in the house to begin your “family” it should be all ‘Yours’ and ‘Ours’. I, Me, Mine should be buried on your wedding day.
Family is about caring not controlling. Practicing the vows taken during your wedding, living it during the marriage is the root of your happiness. If the roots of your marriage are strong no storm can disrupt, shake, break, or uproot it.
Every wedding is perfect, but every married life is imperfect.
Faith in your spouse, trust in your relationship, respect for your family, caring for your kids, and belief in yourself yields fruits of freedom. Change is the key to perfection, correction is the foundation of prosperity, compromise is the solution to all problems. I changed, corrected, and compromised to celebrate a happy married life every day. The day you tell your spouse to change, correct, and compromise is the first step you have taken towards failure. If you fix your failures first, the problem gets fixed by itself.
We were poor starters in our wedding, but strong finishers in our journey of happy married life. Cultivating an imperfect marriage into a perfect family is an art. Family is happiness. Happiness is health, and health is wealth.
Failure in the family is the path to success. Never quit. Look, listen, learn, live, love, and laugh with your family. Ego is the biggest enemy in your family. The day you transform your ego into empathy, the solution to the very problem will be fixed on its own.
In wedding, life is changed, in marriage, life is a challenge, but raising a family in married life, is the reward of happiness enjoyed during your wedding. It’s a full circle. Once you join this circle in your married life, no outside or inside force can break it.
Honestly, in marriage, you cannot clap with one hand. Understanding, listening, caring, learning, and accepting mistakes showers peace. If your spouse stands beside you every problem like a mountain will be a molehill. When your family is friend every stigma is a solution, success, and strength. Family is the foundation of every prosperity.
Marriage counseling changed my life forever. Notably, I happily do the dish washing, cleaning the toilets, unloading all the grocers from the car to the house, keeping the house clean increases the dopamine, and ignites positive energy in the family.
Couples who are happily married for more than 10 years or more should go for marriage classes. This was announced at our Parish a decade back. We immediately up signed for this class. Today our married life is not satisfactory but delightful.
As parents, we never told our kids to do any chores around the house, be it vacuuming, laundry, or cleaning their rooms. We empowered Bradly and Rohan, to aim high, achieve higher, and aspire happiness. These are not in words but in deeds. In 2011, we gifted Bradly with a Toyota PRIUS and in 2014 Rohan with a Toyota Avalon Hybrid brand new cars. Today, Bradly owns a Tesla car, enjoys working for six years at Tesla, and Rohan at Apple. Over a decade ago, Bradly has been managing our family finances - beginning with my salary, Dancy’s pay stubs, Rohan’s income, expenses, paying bills, savings, investments, tithing, credit card payments, traveling, shopping, and freedom to learn from wrong decisions.
Dancy and I never control Rohan and Bradly. We just care for them. We forgive and forget all mistakes, failures, and short comings of our kids. Bradly and Rohan have made mistakes like getting a speeding ticket to name one. We go with Bradly or Rohan to meet the Police Officer to thank him for protecting our child’s life by giving him a ticket. We tell Bradly and Rohan to thank God, as the Police Officer saved your life. Now you’re paying the penalty as a tribute, a reward for saving your life. This changed Bradly and Rohan to be responsible, humble, compassionate, and respect rules and regulations.
Every bill received in our house, beginning from electricity, cell phone, medical, credit cards, to name a few is considered as a blessing. Bradly taught us over a decade ago to write “Thank You” on top of every bill received, the reason he gave us; we should happily pay for the services we received. Moral of the story, we as parents should listen and learn from our kids.
Raising kids brings pleasure, not pain; inspiration, not investment; happiness, not hurt; smile, not sacrifice; enthusiasm, not expense; forgiveness, not failures; and freedom, not fear.
At one point in my life, I failed as a parent, provider, protector, and as a person. My family flipped my four “P’s” into “passion, purpose, prosperity, and prayers”. A family that prays together stays together, a family that struggles together stays together, and a family that accepts failure together stays together.
Dancy and Harold founded a nonprofit organization, Eyes Open International, a 501c3 focused on prevention, education, protection, and empowerment of vulnerable populations globally. Eyes Open International is pleased to announce; Hriday Raval, EOI Regional Director, India and Emil Barr, Vice President Communications.
