Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Marriage Tips by Yvett R. Toko


This is a story from our guest blogger, Yvette R. Toko

Welcome to the month of August. Conflict is never easy to resolve because each party feels they are right in their perspective. Sometimes, these differences can lead to arguing, disrespectful behaviors, and withdrawing. All of these create distance in marriage. Focus on the Family discusses 8 tips from Ron Blue and Jeremy L. White, who have written about t this topic in Faith Based Finances that help manage conflict in marriage. 

How many times have you heard or said to your spouse they 'always' do something or 'never' do something?  Blue and White suggest that couples "stick to the problem at hand and not put your spouse on the defensive." Also, "get on the same side of the fence" by trying to find a solution that is based on "our way" instead of “my wa”. Consider what attitudes or beliefs are motivating your behavior by "trying to identify the core issues."  Next, don't assume anything about your spouse by trying to interpret their actions, "discuss beliefs and expectations openly."

So far so good, right? This is definitely easier said than done, but possible.  Let's continue.  The fifth tip is not to stay angry overnight and agree to table the matter until the next day. Fair fighting is not easy to practice, but hitting below the belt by attacking your spouse’s character is a no-no, according to Blue and White.  Instead talking about circumstances and behavior wins out over character assassination.  Being right can be great for the ego but does not go over well in resolving conflict with our spouse. The "relationship with your spouse is for more important than being right" notes Blue and White. And lastly, if you think it couldn't get any better, forgiveness is the eighth tip, "love keeps no record of wrongs."  I will put my score keeper away if you do. I hope you have enjoyed these tips. Check in with us at Weddings Trends and let us know how you resolve conflict in your marriage.


Read the full article at http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/money-and-finances/communicating-about-money/conflict-resolution

About Yvette Toko

Yvette R. Toko is an author, a wife, mother, and teacher. Yvette is the founder of Healing Words with Yvette. Yvette believes in the power of words to heal. She uses words in all forms to encourage, uplift and inspire herself and others. Her most important roles are being a wife, mother, teacher and writer.

You can connect with Toko through her literary works. She is the author of WeddingQuotes of Inspiration, a wedding book filled with quotes to inspire married couples.