Marriage Tips by Yvette R. Toko #4: "Sweet Mouth"

Have you heard the saying that goes, "you can draw more flies with honey than vinegar?"  There may be some truth to this.  We all like to hear nice words coming from our family, colleagues, and spouses.  Flattery goes a long way with someone as long as it's sincere. 

If you want to spruce up your pillow talk or even give the love of your life a pep in their step, try using affirming words. There are 103 examples; perhaps, several of them are worth recycling to carry you through the year.

Here are a few examples of affirmations (#5-9) that you can say to your husband: "I really appreciate you. When you listened to me, you made me feel loved.  You are my man! You are my protector.  You are awesome!"

For the husbands who are so inclined to venture, here are a few examples of affirmations (#2-6) that you can say to your wife: "You are beautiful. You make me want to be a better man. Thanks for your faithfulness to our family. You are a godly woman.  I've learned a lot from you.”
How about making it a 30 day challenge to shower your beloved with words of affirmation.  Come on, you can do it, I know you can. 

 Affirmations for husbands and wives

Yvette R. Toko is an author, a wife, mother, and teacher. Yvette is the founder of Healing Words with Yvette. Yvette believes in the power of words to heal. She uses words in all forms to encourage, uplift and inspire herself and others. Her most important roles are being a wife, mother, teacher and writer.

You can connect with Toko through her literary works. She is the author of Wedding Quotes of Inspiration, a wedding book filled with quotes to inspire married couples.

Marriage Tips by Yvette R. Toko #3: "Yes I love you, let me count the ways"

 This is a Guest post by Yvette R. Toko

Marriage can be a wonderful union or it can go south very quickly, when partners misunderstand one another's actions, on a regular basis. Sometimes, it can even cause you to question your partner's love for you. Author, Gary Chapman, informs us on his website about the Five Love Languages. Knowing which one(s) your partner has can make communication better between you and your spouse.  He even has a link for knowing the love language of your child.

Here are the five: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.  Who knew there are other ways besides talking to show your partner what you need and what makes you smile. 

Words of affirmation are using words that affirm other people. Actions speaks louder than words for those that like acts of service. Others feel most loved or cherished when they receive gifts.  So I guess giving gifts to appreciate your partner instead of waiting for a birthday or holiday are ideal for this person.  

Giving the other person your undivided attention goes a long way with someone whose love language is quality time.  And lastly, appropriate physical touch can also make a person feel loved.  
There is a short quiz on Chapman's website and some of the questions may make you laugh or may not be ideal to you, but make your best choice and see where you land in the field of love languages.

Hopefully, these tips help you get to know your spouse better and keep the spark in your marriage.
For more information and to take the quiz, go to and click on the words 'Discover your love language.'  

About Yvette R. Yoko
Yvette R. Toko is an author, a wife, mother, and teacher. Yvette is the founder of Healing Words with Yvette. Yvette believes in the power of words to heal. She uses words in all forms to encourage, uplift and inspire herself and others. Her most important roles are being a wife, mother, teacher and writer.
You can connect with Toko through her literary works. She is the author of Wedding Quotes of Inspiration, a wedding book filled with quotes to inspire married couples.

Marriage Tips by Yvett R. Toko

This is a story from our guest blogger, Yvette R. Toko

Welcome to the month of August. Conflict is never easy to resolve because each party feels they are right in their perspective. Sometimes, these differences can lead to arguing, disrespectful behaviors, and withdrawing. All of these create distance in marriage. Focus on the Family discusses 8 tips from Ron Blue and Jeremy L. White, who have written about t this topic in Faith Based Finances that help manage conflict in marriage. 

How many times have you heard or said to your spouse they 'always' do something or 'never' do something?  Blue and White suggest that couples "stick to the problem at hand and not put your spouse on the defensive." Also, "get on the same side of the fence" by trying to find a solution that is based on "our way" instead of “my wa”. Consider what attitudes or beliefs are motivating your behavior by "trying to identify the core issues."  Next, don't assume anything about your spouse by trying to interpret their actions, "discuss beliefs and expectations openly."

So far so good, right? This is definitely easier said than done, but possible.  Let's continue.  The fifth tip is not to stay angry overnight and agree to table the matter until the next day. Fair fighting is not easy to practice, but hitting below the belt by attacking your spouse’s character is a no-no, according to Blue and White.  Instead talking about circumstances and behavior wins out over character assassination.  Being right can be great for the ego but does not go over well in resolving conflict with our spouse. The "relationship with your spouse is for more important than being right" notes Blue and White. And lastly, if you think it couldn't get any better, forgiveness is the eighth tip, "love keeps no record of wrongs."  I will put my score keeper away if you do. I hope you have enjoyed these tips. Check in with us at Weddings Trends and let us know how you resolve conflict in your marriage.

Read the full article at

About Yvette Toko

Yvette R. Toko is an author, a wife, mother, and teacher. Yvette is the founder of Healing Words with Yvette. Yvette believes in the power of words to heal. She uses words in all forms to encourage, uplift and inspire herself and others. Her most important roles are being a wife, mother, teacher and writer.

You can connect with Toko through her literary works. She is the author of WeddingQuotes of Inspiration, a wedding book filled with quotes to inspire married couples.

How to generate wedding ideas using Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest

Planning your wedding can be a herculean task. It is your big day and you want everything to be perfect on this day. You may be thinking about the music and finding the right DJ or musician to play your favorite love songs on your special occasion. You may even be thinking about the color that you will like to have on your wedding for the dress, flowers, decorations, souvenirs, and so on.

Gone are those days when you have to head out to the store or market to find the right color or choose the attire that you want. Now, you can sit in the comfort of your home and pick out everything you want for your wedding from renting the hall to buying fresh flowers for your venue decoration.

Your wedding gown can be picked online and delivered right to your door step, or your wedding cake delivered to the venue on your wedding day.
In this post, we have helped you to find how to use the online to generate creative ideas for your wedding.

Instagram: A recent blog post by Instagram revealed that there are more than 500 million users on the platform. Of that number, “more than 300 million …. use Instagram every single day,” (Instagram). There are over 58 million posts with #wedding on Instgram. When you browse through the #wedding, you will find various kinds of pictures of brides, decorations, gift items, locations, and so on. You can take a couple of hours a day to dig through over 50 million posts to give you a sound idea on how you can plan your wedding in a  creative way.

Facebook: When you do a search on “wedding ideas” directly on Facebook, a ton of options pop up from magazines fan pages to actual posts by people and businesses who serve brides and grooms with their guests on their special day. Leading the chart is Wedding Ideas magazine with over 200,000 fans, followed by - Inspirations, Ideas, Tips with almost 200,000 fans. Face also suggested that “People also like Chair Cover Factory, Chic Sparkles and other Products” all of who provide services that can make your wedding a memorable event if you are within their service areas.

Pinterest: Once you do a Google search of wedding ideas on Pinterest, you get a page that displays over 1000 wedding ideas for you. The ideas are endless. There are even ideas on how to remember a deceased family member during the wedding by having a chair for the late. Elegant Wedding Invites provide you with a creative idea to make it come alive. Another creative plan you can find on Pinterest in not just your wedding list but photograph session list. That way, you will not miss anyone important out of your wedding album.

Now you have ideas from three of the social media platforms you can generate your wedding ideas online. Share some ideas that you know or have used to plan your own, a family member, or a friend’s wedding.

Wedding Trends Celebrates Ana Deisy and Edgar

Wedding Trends celebrates Ana Daisy and Edgar in their holy matrimony as they tie the know over the weekend in Fort Smith Arkansas.
One of their attendees, Bril Macias celebrated with them as she shared on Facebook, "When the celebrations of marriage helps us to unite! Happy birthday Ana Deisy and Edgar! ‪#‎Wedding‬ ‪#‎wedding‬"
Ana Deisy and Edgar wedding celebration. Picture by Brill Macias

Wedding Trends Celebrates Jeneba and Albert Jallah

Wedding Trends Celebrates Jeneba and Albert Jallah as they tie the knot on their special day, July 30, 2016.
Jeneba and Albert Jallah. Picture by Idaway Menday Mammah

Jeneba and Albert Jallah. Picture by Idaway Menday Mammah

Aso-Oke: The customers’ favorite at a maternal lineage fabric business

Layoapeke Fabrics a family lineage business. It is not surprising that Adewumi Adefunke, a third generation family member of the business owner, understands the intricacies of the fabrics, as well as, the challenges of the business she has known from cradle. In this interview with Wedding Trends, the fabric sales expert submits that Aso-Oke is the favorite of her clients.
Picture submitted by Adewunmi Adefunke
Can you tell us a little about yourself?
My name's Adewumi Adefunke, from a royal family in Ekiti State.
Picture submitted by Adewunmi Adefunke

What informed the idea of Layoapeke Fabrics?
Layo Apeke is an age long name that started with my late maternal grandmother, my late mum, and passed on to me, they were successful Aso oke and fabrics merchants.

How long have you been in the Aso-ebi business?
I took it up officially from my mum five years ago, but have been into it since I know how to call my name.

Who are your customers?
Everyone who loves to look good on their special days and also wants to pick something unique and specially woven for friends and family.

Which of your fabric is the customer’s favorite?
The Asooke is the customer’s favorite, because, we have modernized it in such a way that makes you the cynosure of all eyes.

Picture submitted by Adewunmi Adefunke
Do you provide Aso-ebi for both traditional and white weddings?
Yes, we do, and we put in cognizance of the economy by providing friendly pockets packages as Aso Ebi. You don’t have to break the bank to look good.

Do you do only special events clothing or also provide casual clothing?
Our main focus are for the celebrants, friends and family. We will be introducing our casual collections soon. However, people can order personally if they do have events to attend and need to look uniquely beautiful.

What are the challenges you experience as a fabric sales person in the Nigeria?
The prices are not stable due to fluctuations in dollar rates. That is a big challenge, because, we caught in between the clients and our suppliers.

Any word of advice for interested fabric sales person or upcoming aso-ebi organizer?
They should learn to understand the dynamics of fabrics and its prices. They also need to be ready to learn about colors’ combination.

Do you have any last words?
Picture submitted by Adewunmi Adefunke
Layoapeke fabrics is a one stop fabrics and aso-oke online shop you can trust, our name is our integrity.

How can customers find you?
We have our main shop in Idumota, I run the online arm of the business. I can be reached on: WhatsApp; 08025138330
Facebook; @muAsoebi,


Love made in heaven

For Ronny and Angelica, it was love made in heaven. Both husband and wife believed that God answered their prayers to be matched with the one and only life partner. Ronny shares his love story with Angelica below.

Ronny and Angelica with their two sons, Tyronn and Byronn. All pictures submitted by couple.

Everything started when I prayed to the Lord to bless me with the only, and unique wife of my life. When I was a teenager, I had my girlfriends but nothing serious until I enrolled in college and met Angelica, who is now my lovely wife and the mother of two beautiful kids.
Ronny and Angelica on their wedding 16 years ago

In 1997, at the University UTESA in Dominican Republic, I met Angelica in one of my IT classes. At that moment, she was just one person in the group of people that I started meeting. There was nothing special or relevant that could call my attention. We were classmates for three months but we did not have that much interaction during the time. I used to see her around the campus and say, “Hi” but that was all. One day, I was sitting at one of the recreation areas of the campus when she passed by and said, “Hi” to me. We engaged in a conversation that made her sit to chat for a while with me until her new period of class began.

We talked for over two hours about everything and anything. I knew her more and she had the chance to know more about me. We had one friend in common, her aunt, Tete. It was a pleasant surprise. We did not know until I went to see Tete one day to help her with some Mathematics problems. By the way, I used to be good at Mathematician!

Angelica’s aunt, Tete liked me, not as a woman loves a man, but as good classmate. She thought that I was intelligent because I could solve any Mathematic problem. One day, when I went to study with Tete at her house, I saw Angelica there and I asked her, “What are you doing here?” Her response was that Tete was her aunt and she lived with her. It was nice to see Angelica there and also learned that we had one person in common. By that time, her aunt noticed that there was something going on between Angelica and I. However, we did not know yet. Angelica and I were friends only, there was not any interest in each other, we thought.

Ronny and Angelica
Angelica and I began to get very close every single day. I knew her class schedule even though we were not having any class together. I used to wait for her during her breaks and just talk and talk. Whenever I was passing a challenge in my life, I just told her every that was happening to me, to the point that she became my confidant and I became hers, without realizing we were falling for each other.

One day, when I accompanied Angelica to her aunt’s house who lived close to the university, I asked Angelica if she would like to be my girlfriend and she said, “Yessss!” She made me so happy and from there on, we began to date each other. We dated for about three years. Our relationship was good. Thankfully, aunt Tete helped me by introducing me to Angelica’s parents. Angelica’s mother liked me right away but her father was a little old school. He wanted me to bring my father and mother to talk to him. I was 20 years old and he still wanted me to bring my parents. I told him my dad was dead and that I would be able to bring only my mother. He approved of it. I was very clear and straight to him by telling him that I was the one dating his daughter, and not my parents. More so, I told him that I was matured enough to be responsible and that I loved his daughter.

He accepted our relationship but not hundred percent; he wanted to know more about me and my family before going farther. With time, he started to like me. At the turn of three years, I told Angelica that we were getting married. I told her the date that I chose but I never asked her for a date. Weird. Isn’t it?
The Marty's family

We got married in the year 2000. It was a big celebration. There were around 400 guests at the ceremony. We had a lovely honeymoon in a beautiful resort. After one year of marriage, we had our first child Tyronn. It was an amazing moment that I cannot describe with words - becoming a father for the first time is a blessing. Three years later, we had our second son, Byronn. It was also a great moment in our life. Our life was good - with ups and downs - but God was always with us. During the first four years of our marriage, we struggled with money. Thank God, Angelica’s mom was always there for us. She knew when we were out of money. She used to visit us and whenever she came, she brought food, and before leaving, she would leave an envelope with enough cash for us to pay the rent. I love my mother in law, she was a big support in our relationship. I don’t know how to pay her back for all the love and care she bestowed on us.

Couple's selfie
Now, we have been married for 16 years. God has been and is good to us; He is the Center of our lives. Without God in our lives, we would have been divorced by now. My wife have her character and I have mine, so, we just try to complement each other. God gave us a beautiful family; He keeps blessing us day by day.

During all these years, we have done lots of good stuff and gone to lots of places together as the great family that we are. When I say that God has been and is the Center of our lives, it is because it is totally true. Before I met Angelica, I asked God for my only and unique wife that He had in store for me. My wife asked God the same petition before meeting me. So, the Lord brought us together forever until death do us part.

Loving company turns real love

It was just friendship in a loving company for Kehinde Adegbiyi, until she was wooed into making the dream of her friend, now husband, Jide Adegbiyi, become a reality in a holy matrimony. In her own words, Mrs. Adegbiyi narrated her love story below.
Kehinde and Jide Adegbiyi. Picture submitted by couple.

We met via Visafone Network chat. Before then, I had never subscribed to the chat services, I playfully did that day. Shortly after I subscribed, I got a notification that Jide from Lagos wanted to be my friend.  I accepted and we started chatting. During some of our chat sessions, I discovered we had so many things in common, like we were from the same state, our mothers are namesakes, my mum's name is Christianah Oluwafunmi Dada while his mum bears the same name(all three names). What a coincidence!

We both attend a monthly singles meeting in Lagos Island, although we never physically met through that platform. We talked for long periods on the phone and chatted endlessly online. All the while, I felt we were just friends. We agreed to meet physically during the next singles meeting. We met, and I must say that I wasn't attracted to him in any way, I just loved his company.
Mr. & Mrs. Adegiyi. Picture submitted by couple

I remembered that it rained after the meeting that day; I was under my umbrella. Meanwhile, he was in the rain. He didn't mince words, he told me, "I have always wanted to be with somebody that will ignite a spark in my heart, and I feel that I have met the person today." He said so many other things, like how much he really wanted to be with me and how happy he had been since he met me online. In my mind, I laughed really hard because he wasn't even close to the kind of picture I had painted about my dream man. I could see the hurt in his eyes when I told him no. 

We continued as friends, he had to go to work outside of Lagos, while I went for my National Youth Corp Service (NYSC). We got really into each other during that period. I could no longer hide the fact that I had fallen in love with him; hence, I gave him my consent. He was very happy on the day that he got my approval.
I had told some of my siblings about him. He called them on the phone. My parents were the last to know about him. Then, he gave me his mother's phone number. I sent his mother an SMS and she called me back. I could feel the joy and love of a mother in her excited voice on the other end of the phone, even though we had never met. 

Some months after my NYSC, he invited me to meet his parents. He told me over the phone that he would like me to go meet his parents since he wasn't in town and doesn't come home often. I agreed and they were all anxiously waiting to meet me. I can never forget that day. I was so scared and had mixed feelings. In fact, at a point, I almost turned back after embarking on the journey. But when I got there, the show of love that I got was beyond description. I fell in love with the family. Two years after, the wedding bells rang and we became Mr. and Mrs. Olajide Adegbiyi at a beautiful wedding ceremony. 

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Inspired to cook from childhood

For Temitope Adedoyin Egbetokun, cooking good food is good business. In this interview with our Correspondent, the mother of a handsome young boy tells of how she transforms her God-given talent of cooking into a profession of repute.

Picture submitted by Temitope Adedoyin Egbetokun
 Please, tell us briefly about yourself
I am Temitope Adedoyin Egbetokun, a Nigerian from Ifon, Ondo State. I am the founder of Temmy Confectionary based in Sango area of Ogun State. I attended Grano School of Catering and Hotel management.
Picture submitted by Temitope Adedoyin Egbetokun

How long have you been into baking?
I have been in the catering world since the past five years but not as a full timer. I became a professional caterer this year (2016).

What inspired you to go into catering services?
I love cooking from my childhood. I remembered how as a child, I would put together cans of different shapes and sizes to feign cooking for a large gathering of people. One thing that now strikes me each time I reminisce about that childhood episode is that I was always the leader of that cooking team. Now, I realize it's actually my God-given destiny to become a caterer.

Also, I notice that I am not always bored whenever I am in the kitchen. I love good and well-prepared meals such that even when I was not yet a full time caterer, I was still taking outdoor service and strove hard to make it perfect because I believe I am good in cooking. And that was what eventually inspired me to go into full time catering services.

Picture submitted by Temitope Adedoyin Egbetokun
Are you also into other aspects of catering services?
Yes. I also do hall and outdoor decoration. We also engage in other aspects of catering service like cocktail drinks, snacks, cookies, intensive cookery which includes continental and intercontinental services.

Would you say you are enjoying what you do?
To God be the glory I am really enjoying my job and I am proud to be introduced as a caterer.

What differentiates a white wedding cake from traditional wedding cakes?
White wedding cakes always come in steps and mostly with white background color, while traditional wedding cakes have a traditional ambience such as a drummer and his drum, a fruit basket, a gourd of palm wine with kola nuts, and so on. However, the colors and shapes of a wedding cake is decided by the couple but we can only advice when the need arises.

Would you say baking is actually financially rewarding?
Picture submitted by Temitope Adedoyin Egbetokun
Yes, it is financially rewarding if you are good at what you are doing. Your work projects you and announces you to prospective clients. For instance, if I cook for Mrs. A's wedding and her friends like my food and services, they would ask Mrs. A to connect them to me when it's their turn to wed too. That is how it works.

What challenge(s) do you face in course of your job?
Our major challenges now are two-fold; Economic cost of foodstuffs and the cost of labor. The times are hard and even though our clients know that, they want you beat down our price as much as possible.

Picture submitted by Temitope Adedoyin Egbetokun
Tell us your most memorable experience as a baker.
My most memorable experience was when my servers disappointed me when I had to serve almost 200 guests with only two other people to help me. It was so demanding and tiring in the end.I thank God that I did it, but I'll never forget that day in my entire life.

What's your advice to young entrepreneurs?
My advice to young entrepreneurs is that they should add professionalism to whatever they are doing. Develop your God-given talent to a professional level. That way, you can profit from it.

How can people contact you?
My contacts are:
Phone:  08034261488, 08023600778
Facebook: Temmy Adedoyin
Instagram: @temmy5740
Picture submitted by Temitope Adedoyin Egbetokun

Baking cakes to create wealth

For Nguavese Terfa-mamadu, Chief Executive Officer, Hobel cakes & Confectionery, selling baked goods is a good source of wealth creation. In this interview with our Correspondent, she shares the story of her humble beginnings that has transformed into the wealth she uses to provide for her family.
Picture submitted by Hobel Cakes & Confectionery
Please, tell us a little about yourself.
Picture submitted by Hobel Cakes & Confectionery
Nguavese Terfa-mamadu is my name. I graduated from Benue State University in the Department of English. I am the CEO of Hobel Cakes & Confectionery. I am married and blessed with two twin girls.

How long have you been into baking?
I started baking in 2011 for my family but turned it into a business in December 2014.

What really inspired you to go into cake making?
I wanted to engage my hands so as to bring creativity, because, I love hand craft. I also learnt beads and hat making but I chose baking because of my extreme love for food. Secondly, I sell cakes to create wealth and support my family.

Are you also into other aspects of catering services?
Yes. I am into catering services and Events management.

What makes a good wedding cake?
For me, a good wedding cake is about good taste and design. If the taste of your cake is nice and you are able to recreate exactly a design a bride wants, she will be happy. In addition, you will be happier as a baker and your confidence will increase.

Picture submitted by Hobel Cakes & Confectionery
What challenge(s) do you face in the course of your job?
The challenge is a client’s inability to pay for the worth of a cake. An average cake takes more than four hours to produce. However, clients feel it's about flour, sugar, eggs and butter, but they forget gas, energy, time, and creativity which translates to the value of a cake. It's a very big challenge because there are times you fall sick after producing a cake. If they don't pay well, which money will a baker use to seek medical attention?

Tell us your most memorable experience as a baker
My most memorable experience was when a client called, telling me of a cake she saw on my Facebook page. She wanted me to replicate it for her. I was so glad and it encouraged me never to give up despite the challenges that I face.

What's your advice to young entrepreneurs?
I am also a young entrepreneur. What I can say is that they should never give up on their dreams. Success does not come over night, you have to be patient, very hard working, and step up your game.
CEO of Hobel Cakes & Confectionery, Nguavese Terfa-mamadu

How can people contact you?
People can contact me through:
Address: 1 Agowke Oga Street, behind Government College, Makurdi.
Email: avesetwins13