Thursday, July 21, 2016

"Marriage is a journey, not a destination"




Dancy (left) and Harold (right). Picture submitted by couple
Wedding is an event. Marriage is an unending journey of understanding, respect, love, and happiness. Wedding is an external beauty, but Marriage is an internal beauty of compassion. Dancy and I are married for more than 8000 days, 250 months and 22 years. Ours is an arranged marriage transformed into peace, prosperity, and parenthood.

Wedding is all about love, glamour, attraction, and infatuation. Marriage is all about trust, faith, and belief in each other. Marriage is power. Marriage can face any storm, struggle, sacrifice and sorrows in life with a smile and the journey becomes a smooth sailing ship of peace, happiness and freedom.

My perception changed from ‘I’ and ‘Me’ to “We” on the day I got married. This changed our journey in life to live with bonding, sharing and caring. We have a common goal and embrace each other’s weaknesses with compassion. In our ongoing journey, we always reasoned in our struggle, sacrifice and sorrows, but decided not to argue. Complimenting, respecting and acknowledging my wife in personal life and among family, friends and community is a very crucial part of my life.
Bradly (left) and Rohan (right). Picture submitted by couple

When we were blessed with our first child, Bradly and our second son Rohan, our ‘Purpose, Mission and Vision’ in life changed just the two of us to that of the whole family. We always address ourselves as “The D’Souza Family” since the birth of our first child because it is no longer “We” but “Ours.”

Our children have become our priority in life. We always dream, think and plan for a better and beautiful life for our boys every second, in terms of Value, Character and Education. It is a part of our daily life to eat, pray and do community service as a family.

Harold & Dancy 22 years ago. Picture submitted by couple
At one point in our life we failed as parents, providers and protectors for our boys due to unavoidable circumstances beyond our control. The lesson we learned as parents in life is that we cannot predict our future, so we have to plan to create a purposeful future for our boys.

As parents, Dancy and I listen, obey, respect and love our boys - Bradly and Rohan. These are not by words but by living it daily. When my boys were in their early teenage years, we taught them to practice financial aptitude. Now for more than 5 years, our boys manage, control and administer our finances, salary and savings, that is, paying bills, credit card payments, investments, savings and donations.
 
In real life, age is just a number. We always inspire our kids to think positive, think big, and aim high in life. We encourage them to always have a purpose in life with a mission and vision to live their dreams.
Bradly and Rohan have dedicated hundreds of hours on volunteering in our community. Both boys have been recognized, rewarded and respected as a living role model in the community. If you Google Bradly D’Souza and Rohan D’Souza, you can read all the articles. We focus on empowering our kids in real life to live their dreams. Bradly and Rohan are living their lives with happiness, freedom and a dream. We have no rules in our house. We never tell our kids to do chores - cleaning, vacuuming, laundry, and so on. On the contrary, we seek advice, guidance and approval from our kids. Guess what? Our kids have become more responsible with financial understanding, respect, compassion and faith in God. Our family thank God daily for the blessings we have been bestowed in our lives. We flipped our decision making strategy by empowering our boys. 
D'Souza family. Picture submitted by couple

In our dictionary of life, there is no word as “Divorce.” I love, regard, respect, admire and accept my wife, Dancy as she is. I appreciate my wife as a person who is more beautiful internally then externally. For us, it is a Win! Win! Situation.  We always help each other on our weaknesses, opportunities and threats. In every walk of our life, we complement each other’s strengths.

Like I noted earlier, wedding is an event. Marriage is a journey, not a destination. Like running a marathon, it does not matter whether you crawl, walk, jog, or run. It’s not all about winning the race, it’s about finishing it. Therefore, marriage is not about winning or losing. Love, enjoy, relish and respect your married life. Always be cool, consistent, creative, transparent, honest and communicate without any hesitation. Most of the wedding start strongly but finish poorly.  We were poor starters in our wedding, but a strong finisher in our marriage. God bless all newly wedded and married couples.