Marriage Tips by Yvette #6: Waging War Over House Chores

Are house chores frustrating you? Is your spouse nonchalant when it comes to keeping the house tidy? Are you arguing over who will do what or if you will participate at all in the upkeep of the home? How do couples keep a clean house and life outside of home with a demanding work schedule? Good question.

Some couples let the chores go to last place. Some proxy the chores to mostly require being done by the wife. Some couples even hire house-help to get things done.

If both of you are working outside of the house full-time, doing chores regularly can be a challenge. Once they pile up then no one wants to be bothered with stinky socks, underwear, sweaty clothing and the likes. Even the dishes piled high in the kitchen sink can muster an eye roll.

So what gives? Was your husband brought up in a home where his female siblings only did the housekeeping? Was your wife brought up in a home where only the male members repaired things and tackled the big stuff? Or was your home liberal enough where the males knew how to cook and manage a few things and vice versa?

The aforementioned questions have many variables and there is no one way to look at roles in housekeeping. Some families have clearly defined roles as to who does what around the house and do not venture from it. When it happens that is just asking for disaster and frustration.

However if you want to share the tasks of housekeeping, here are some options:

  1. Sitting down and assessing what chores are a priority
  2. Volunteering to take on a few chores
  3. If you are a man and do not want to help with dish washing perhaps your wife would appreciate if you vacuumed or dust the furniture or do a load of laundry and your wife fold the clothes.
  4. If you are a woman and do not want to take out the trash perhaps you can take it out one or two days per week.
  5. Leave room for compromise because the goal is a clean house not to be at odds with one another.
  6. Cooking a nutritious meal can be a challenge if you are not cooking in bulk. Eating out or prepping ingredients ahead of time will save time once you reach home and have a short time to get dinner on the table. 

If these options will not work due to lack of compromise or schedules, perhaps hiring a housekeeper to take care of things will help keep your home tidy and your relationship peaceful. Eating out a few times per month or ordering take-out is another option. Some families also order pre-made meals from meal prep services if it within the budget.

These are just a few tips of how to balance chores and keep the peace.

Wishing you the best,


About the Author
Yvette R. Toko is a published author, Christian life coach, trans-cultural marriage mentoring strategist, and wedding officiant. She uplifts, encourages and inspires.

Toko is an author, a wife, mother, and teacher. She is the founder of Healing Words with Yvette and Weddings with Yvette. Toko believes in the power of words to heal. She uses words in all forms to encourage, uplift and inspire herself and others. Her most important roles are being a wife, mother, teacher and writer.

You can connect with Toko through her literary works. She is the author of Wedding Quotes of Inspiration, a wedding book filled with quotes to inspire married couples. The new release by Toko is the Marriage Journal: A 7 Week Journey, a journal that helps couple in cross cultural relationship have a better communication.

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